I want to make a weekly/monthly/yearly planner like this.
I don’t know the best way to do it. The calendar isn’t quite right, or Trello, or a spreadsheet. Any suggestions?
Artist course week 6
The sixth topic in the artist course was Abundance.
This involved a few questions about money, which were strange for me, because I felt like they were aimed at people who have issues with money (e.g. strong envy of wealthy people) and I don’t.
There was some really nice tasks this week. I won’t spoil them for anyone who might do the course, but they were simple, sensory and very pleasant. However, I had trouble with the “Luxury” exercise. Even now, I’m trying to think about something that gives me a sense of luxury, and I can’t think of anything. Maybe nice clothing.
Mood: I was quite low and tired and achey (am I sick?) until the weekend. Oh, the weekend… Let me tell you about the artist date!
Well. I went with Paper Trail Tours (which are described as “walking writing tours of Melbourne”) on a 5-hour writing excursion! It was fantastic. Sofija Stefanovic and Lorelei Vashti put so much work into making this an interesting, inspiring, challenging and very helpful/useful/informative experience. Massive props.
I was completely overwhelmed by the tour (everyone else seemed so good at everything!), but I took a million notes (which I need to write up) and I gained “a new set of tools in my toolbox” (that’s a dorky expression, but I like it). For example, pair writing and writing dates: Regular writing dates with a writing partner, with set homework (e.g. need to show the next draft of a project); you review each other’s work, and, if your partner is stuck, you help them with writing exercises.
What a day! Marvellous. Highly recommended. Hopefully they will add new tours and I’ll be able to take another one. In the meanwhile, I would like to find a partner for writing dates.
Have started seeing sponsored posts on Tumblr. Will be blocking them via the the Ignore page. (What are you doing, Tumblr? Why are you being so lame? Let me pay for a Pro account without ads!)
Big beautiful dreams
I remember when my brother was trying to feel like he was in control of his life, he started being brutally honest about everything. “Want to have dinner?” “Not really. Thanks anyway.”
This is something I need to work on. And self-esteem. I think I haven’t allowed myself to have big, beautiful dreams, because I don’t think I’m worth it.
(That person over there – they can have an amazing wedding that they have so much fun planning and they look gorgeous and it’s all so much fun – but I can’t, because that would be too indulgent; a ridiculous focus on myself and what makes me happy. That person over there – they can move to San Francisco and set up a business doing something they love – but I can’t, because that would be too indulgent; I could never make it happen and many people smarter than me would succeed, but I wouldn’t.)
I also need to allow myself to feel annoyed. To get angry, even! I’ve trained myself to be positive and chilled-out, and not get upset about trivialities, but it’s gone too far; I beat myself up if I’m annoyed about anything, because I’m not being positive.
But if you’re really good to yourself – if you think you’re worth it – surely you need to expect/deserve/desire good things for yourself, and kick up a storm if you’re treated otherwise. ”I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!”
Lordy. Happiness is hard work.
Artist course week 5
The fifth week in the artist course was about Possibility.
This involved an artist date (I went to a Playwriting class at Laneway Learning: I highly recommend their classes!), morning writing, more wishlists, continuing the dream file of images, and some thinking-on-paper tasks.
It also involved imagining different parts of my life “if I had money,” which was an interesting exercise. I found that I had the coolest ambitions as a rich 65-year-old – maybe because right now I’m too caught up in duty and being sensible – maybe it’s only at age 65 that I feel like I’m allowed to think more indulgently or daringly?
For another task, I had great trouble thinking about, “What would I find really adventurous?” - - - - I still don’t know how to answer that question.
But a task that’s stayed with me is “Forbidden Joys,” which asked for “things you love and would love to do but are not allowed to do,” because apparently people who aren’t good to themselves say “no” to themselves. My list, for example, has “craft” on it. I love doing small crafty things – even writing a letter and putting a parcel together for a friend – but I always have something else that needs to be done first, like replying to an email. (I am making a weekly / monthly planner to prevent me from Always Being Sensible, which I’ll write more about later).
My mood was fantastic at the beginning of this week (especially after the artist date), but as I became low on sleep, my mood crashed & burned, and I was once again in the horrible territory of zero confidence. Boo, hiss.